Well. Phantom is over, so is band. I have so much time to myself I don't know what to do with myself. It's a good thing I guess. Not to be overbooked for the first time in about 3 years. I'm just really lost. Sometimes I have to kick myself to see if my heart is still beating. The days seem to be the longest of my life. Dreams have been ripped and with nothing else to pursue, I don't know what to do. I just have been lost for so long. It's all I can do to hold together all the pieces of myself long enough to make it through the days in which it's worth it to get to the end. It's a rough life. Losing things you love left and right, no talent outside of band that you can pursue, but I do have great friends. They help me more than they know and I owe them so much that I will be in debt for the rest of my life. For all of you who have been there for me, I love you all so much. You make me able to survive those long classes. You guys have no idea how greatful I am to all of you. I only hope that someday I can repay you with this feeling of secureity and hope that you have all given me over these troublesome weeks. Watching football is such a joy. To see all of those people down there, struggling against each other to prove who is better. It takes me back to the good ole' days. The days where I used to play. Anyway, It's been some long days and I decided to use some spare time to let you all know that I'm still living.